Well things are ok I guess. What I know is that  nothing excited is going on in my life. Period. I work and work. Hopefully things will start to look up for me. I interview with my boss tomorrow and I am nervous as hell cause I hate interviews. I pray it goes well.

I do know that my drving ticket incident went real well. I got off paying a big sum of money (not as big as I thought though)  but I still can drive though :-) that is something to really be happy about. But I am broke.

I finding myself slipping into a bit of depression. I guess its cause I am feeling quite lonley. My roommates boyfriend is back in town for a while. And I guess he is staying here till he leaves again. Truthfully I have never been more happy for my girl. She has truely found herself a good person. I only wish them them the best. I cant help but to feel a lil bit sad cause I wish that I had someone that I truely loved like that or someone that adored me the way he adores her. Its really hard when you are surrounded by people that have husbands or boyfriends and here I am chillin on myown. The only guys that come into my life are the wrong ones. It seems like I try to focus on other things in my life like trying to start acareer. But it seems that I am not motivated to even do that. (except for the fact that I have bills) I just feel that I am not as happy as I used to be. I live to work and pay bills. Oh yeah and to eat. I will admit I am very blessed. I have the best mother and brother in the world, good friends a job that pays fairly decent and good health. All of that should be all I need to keep a smile plastered on my face.........I just cant help to feel a major void in my life.

This blog update is for my girlie Kimmy..........enjoy!!!

Lets start with today's events.......

Today was grand. Work was completely dead. Sure we did have those customers that wanted to bitch and moan but that was it, it was still dead for the most part. Since it was boring my and my co workers talked about an array of topics. One of those topics was sex.......Me and my girl both went to college together and knew some of the same people. We just never talked for some odd reason. We got to talking about what dudes we liked atour school and I knew all her guys and she knew all of mine. Including my neighbor that I was (and still is in some ways) head over heels for. That was her best friend. So we were talking about college days and it was great. The only thing is that after I talked with her about my neighbor, I really started to miss him........a lot. Although our "romance" was short lived I really developed true feelings about him. I kinda packed away any feelings I had for him because I just feel that it wouldnt work out. I poured out all my feelings for him to her. She thinks I should tell him but I cant because I dont think he feels for me like that. He hasbeen on my mind ever since and it is killing me. I truely miss him though

In my last entry I talked about a guy that I heard wanted to be with me. Yeah that is a negative. My theory on that is my bitch of an ex-boss started a rumor about us and it got back to me. One night while we were bowling, he approached me saying "you kno that there is a rumor saying that we dating" so that futher assured me that it was nothing......now if I can only shake him from my dreams.........

There is one guy that is practically forcing me to be with him. He has been a friend of mine for years and Ithought long and hard about being with him. I have no doubt in my mind that he would be a good man  for me. The problem is that he is layin all these expectations on me. He tells me how much he has to see me and that he demands 100% of me and not parts of me. I was very intimidating by this and started to avoid him. At first I didnt know why. I even let him come by because he pretty much said that if I kept rejecting him from coming by that we can forget it. He stayed over (no sex) and I would barely let him touch me. I was very cold towards him. And it suddenly hit me. I dont want to be with him because I feel too forced. When it comes to relationships I want to take my time. I am at the stage in my life that I want to find someone to settle down with and jumping in and out of relationships are not it. He wants to rush and I dont and he doesnt like that and I told him that either we take it slow or down worry about it. So he says that he can only do it for so long because he is the one that has to be in the driver seat. Naw..........I forgot for a second what kind of woman I really am. I will not be forced into anything that I am not sure of. I dont care who you are orhow long Ive known you. He doesnt call that much now. We are meant to be friends........nothing more.

Lastly I actually went on a date with this extremly quiet guy.We met at my friends cookout. Hes nice and all but like I said hes too damn quiet. We went bowling which is an activity that requires you to talk which he barely did. So we played like 5 games and it was like he talked 20% of the time. I am an outgoing person. He is extremely shy. At the end of the date I got a goodbye......no hug or kiss. Okay I understand it was a first day but damn can a sista get a hug.........needless to say it was nice going on date but we were better off seeing a movie. At least them he'd have to be quiet.

I am still debating whether or not to go to drving school before my court date which is in a week. I got a copy of my driving record and one of my tickets (which happens to be my worse) is not there.  I have a balance of 0 points on my record which is sorta a good things. If I go to school (again) I get 5 good points which may be there before court. But if I wait till court, there may be a chance that they may espunge the ticket from my record if they sentence me to go to school. But there may be a chance that they may take my licence, so I think I may just go to school. Well time is running out so I need to decide.

Well I am going to bed now. I hope this is a good update for you Kim :-)